Dark Nights of the Soul
Last night was R-O-U-G-H...
with a Capital R.
I totally had a Toni-Braxton-Unbreak-My-Heart-Ugly-Face-Cry moment while trying to resolve a debit card issue.
I felt helpless.
I felt betrayed.
I felt abused.
Instead of pushing these feelings aside, I allowed myself to feel the feels and ALL OF THEM came rushing through.
I cried about an ex best friend I hadn't thought of in almost 10 years.
I cried about a recent friend who isn't talking to me right now.
I cried about my ex and how I still wished he understood me.
I cried about all the ways people broke my heart - in the past, and recently.
It hurt real bad.
But, the lesson here is...
I let myself cry. I mean, ugly face, snot cry, sobs.
It hurt while it lasted... but afterwards, I felt liberated.
I found the strength to take out some paper and pen and write letters to 2 of these heartbreakers.
Dear _______, I wrote.
You really broke my heart...
Blah, blah, blah, dramatic, gory details...
I hope you never make another person feel the way you made me feel.
However, I can't control that... and I can't change the past.
It's time for me to let go of the pain.
Goodbye, ____________.
GIRL! That sh*t was SO freaking cathartic and therapeutic.
10/10 would recommend.
Anyway, hope you're doing better than I am... and if you're not... at least we're in this together.
Heartbreak hurts like hell.
But then we survive.
And we come back stronger.
Thank you for being alongside me on this journey called life.
I love you,