Self Love & Boundaries

Setting Healthy Boundaries at Work and at Home

Setting healthy boundaries is something people always tell you to do but they don’t really explain how to do it.

Below, you will find a few tangible and practical ways to master the art of setting healthy boundaries.

Before we get into these steps, let’s first talk about WHY it is important to set healthy boundaries in the first place.

When you don’t set healthy boundaries:

  • You feel angry and frustrated often

  • You feel alone because you can’t get the support you need from people who are “supposed to be there for you”.

  • You spend so much time doing things for other people and don’t have time for yourself.

  • You resent the people you love and care about most because you often feel like a doormat.

  • You get sick at the most inconvenient times.

You know that:

  • Not having boundaries is extremely unhealthy

  • You don’t want to resent the people in your life

  • You need more time for yourself

  • You feel exhausted way too often and desperately need to lighten your load

  • There has got to be a better way to manage your time and live life!

Lucky for you, you’ve come to the right place to start healing all of this madness.

Here is a list of things to help you set healthy boundaries.

(This isn’t the full list but, it will certainly get you started.)


When a friend or family member texts you out of the blue asking you for a favor:

In your own words, respond with any of the following,

  • Hey! Thanks for asking. I’m so glad you can count on me. I’m a little busy right now so I need to know, is this an emergency?

  • Hey! Thanks for asking. I’m at work right now and might forget so, can you remind me later?

  • Hey! Thanks for asking. I’ve got a few things going on so would you please let me know when you need this done by?

  • Hey! Thanks for asking. I’m so glad you can count on me but, I am sorry. I have a lot going on for the next few weeks and don’t have extra bandwidth to help you with this.

Important to remember,

  • Most times when someone is asking you for something, you tend to take on all the responsibility and carry the load for them. This isn’t helpful to them or you.

  • Sending a question back to them holds them accountable for what they are asking you to do and also makes them responsible for getting it done.

  • It is okay to lend a helping hand to a friend in need but, it is not okay for them to expect you to take full responsibility and carry their load.

Even more important to remember,

Practice saying “no” more often than you want to!

The world won’t fall apart if you can’t help everyone plus, people learn what they are capable of when you let them learn to rely on themselves.


When your boss or a co-worker gives you another to do item:

In your own words, respond with any of the following,

  • No problem, I’ll add this to my to-do list. When do you need this by?

  • Sure, I’ll add that to my to-do list! I am currently working on XYZ project, would you like me to do this first instead?

  • Sure, I can add that to my to-do list however, much of my time is being tied up doing XYZ, would you mind helping me out by letting me know the priority items that need to be done first?

Important to remember,

  • It is okay to get back to your boss with a request for a deadline or to ask them to prioritize the items on your to-do list.

  • This puts the responsibility on them to make clear and reasonable requests of you without leaving you carrying a load that is way too heavy.


(to be continued in another blog because this is a whole subject on its own!)

Click here for Setting Healthy Boundaries with Technology.

Remember, setting healthy boundaries is a lifelong practice so be gentle with yourself as you learn and don’t expect to be perfect overnight.

Celebrate yourself as you get better and don’t beat yourself up if you get it wrong every once in a while.



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