Self Love & Bossing Up

Accessing Your Inner Queen: How to Make Effective Decisions

If you’re reading this blog, chances are you spend a lot of your time focused on keeping the peace and harmony in your life.

You may often be criticized with worrying too much about what other people think or making sure that everyone is comfortable and happy.

This way of being isn’t bad, in fact, it is what makes you special!

The cost of keeping the peace and harmony may get in the way of other things that are important to you like: getting results or making effective decisions.

The purpose of this article is to help you access your Inner Queen and make effective decisions without compromising your compassion and care for other people.

this is a simple 3 step process I teach to my clients who have similar challenges.

Be forewarned, this process may get uncomfortable at times because one of the steps requires that you open up to some of the brutal truths you feel inside but maybe feel ashamed of or don’t want to face.

That being said, this process is totally safe and for your privacy only.

Before we get into the 3 steps, make a commitment here and now to complete this entire process with the understanding that you will only have to share what feels good to you to share.

Can you commit to this? Continue only if you answered YES.

STEP 1 - Let it all Out

This step is for your eyes and ears only.

Choose 1 of 3 mediums:

  1. Write on paper

  2. Type on a computer / device

  3. Record your voice

Use whichever medium you chose to LET IT ALL OUT.

Let out all of your feelings, concerns, opinions, and challenges about the current situation you are grappling with.

For example, if you are frustrated with a friend (who you love dearly and would do anything for but, lately has been getting on your nerves because she’s been asking too much), write/type a letter or record your voice letting her know how you feel.

Hold nothing back.

Let it rip!

(Don’t worry, this is only for your eyes and ears. You will be able to destroy this at the end of Step 2.)

Be brave, dear one. You can do this.

STEP 2 - Use your gift of compassion to formulate a Clear Request

After you have completed Step 1, you can go back and review the letter (or recording) if you wish.

Then, use your unique gifts of compassion and creating harmony to formulate a clear request.

See some examples below:

Example 1: If you are frustrated that your friend keeps complaining about her boyfriend who you don’t like anyway, you can make a clear request (coming from a place of love, of course) to talk about him less.

Example 2: If you are feeling overwhelmed that your boss keeps giving you more and more things to do and you are feeling overloaded, you can make a clear request to have him prioritize your to do list for you and give you reasonable deadlines for each item on the list.

Example 3: If you are grappling with a challenge in your business and feel overwhelmed about making decisions that can affect so many things, you can make a clear request of someone in your community to listen to you vent and help you make a decision.

Once you have sorted through and processed the brutal and honest feelings you’ve been running away from, you should feel clear enough to come up with a reasonable request.

After you have come up with your request, you can destroy the letter or recording you made in Step 1.

STEP 3 - Make a Clear Request

This is it! The moment you’ve been waiting for.

Put on your big-girl panties and MAKE YOUR REQUEST.

Here are the steps:

  1. Contact the person

  2. Ask them for a moment of their time (or if you can schedule a time to talk)

  3. It is okay to communicate that it might be a difficult conversation

  4. Make your request (there is a highly effective process I teach my clients for how to make this part - the scariest part! - as seamless as possible.)

  5. Most importantly, don’t apologize for what you need.

You deserve the right to make reasonable requests of the people in your life.

Believe me, I understand that while I’ve laid out all the steps, this is no easy task and requires GREAT COURAGE.

If you have any questions, let me know. I’m here for you.

Still feeling scared about taking some of these steps? Let me help.

Feeling disappointed?

If you were expecting some highly analytical decision making algorithm, you now know this was not that.

Making effective decisions comes from mental and emotional clarity. From there, making decisions is the easy part.

The 3 step process outlined above is literally the best way to achieve mental and emotional clarity in all areas of your life.

Trust me on this one.

If you don’t believe me now, just try it! Then, let’s talk.